Every Family Has Ghosts

When the Paranormal is Personal

In 2009, a Pew Research Center report indicated that 29% of Americans have “felt in touch with someone who has died.” While Pew doesn’t define “in touch”, I’d like to think it’s a broad bucket. I feel in touch with my grandpa when our lights flicker unexpectedly (he owned a lighting store). I feel in touch with a sister I never met who shares my first name (she died at nine days old and set in motion a chain of events that would eventually lead my parents to meet). I’ve felt in touch with the spirits of people I never met: my husband’s grandmother, the people who lived in our apartment 100 years before us, and Sarah Winchester in her famous mystery house.

Since the early 2000s, we’ve been inundated with reality shows about ghosts. Mostly men, and some women, sitting in the dark and pointing unfocused cameras down the long hallways of abandoned schools and asylums, asking us to believe that they’ve heard or seen something that can’t be captured on tape. Many of these investigations start in the daylight, in familiar spaces like libraries and town records offices, and end in dark quiet rooms, patiently waiting for a disembodied voice or shadow figure to emerge. In 60 minutes, there’s closure: homeowners are given advice about burning sage; business owners report that their beer taps have stopped turning on randomly since the investigation. These ghost stories have been shaped into a narrative arc that resonates and leaves us fulfilled. Doesn’t it feel good to have some resolution?

This newsletter isn’t a takedown of these paranormal shows or the people in them. Instead, it’s an examination of a desire that has been haunting me for years: what’s stopping me from exploring the unknown in my own life? What’s stopping you?

Let’s find out.

My goal for this newsletter is to lay out a family ghost story for you, and then to bring you along on my journey to its logical resolution, whatever that means. Here are some questions I’m grappling with:

• What’s a ghost story, really?

• Does my connection to the story change my process of investigating? 

• Does this connection make me a less reliable witness or a more potent conduit for information? 

• Can anyone investigate the paranormal, including me: a person who works in sales training for 40 hours a week and, despite her interest in the paranormal, has never formally investigated a haunting?

I can’t promise any pictures of ghosts or electronic voice recordings. If you want proof that ghosts exist…this may or may not be the spot. But, I can promise a sincere exploration of the concept of the supernatural without embellishment. This is Substack, not cable television; I’m  not doing this for the ratings. 

If you have a family ghost story that you’d like to look into, my hope is that I can provide you with insight on how to do it. Along the way, I’ll provide detailed information on what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and what I’m learning along the way. I’ll share what I’ve learned about interviewing family members, building an investigative plan, and other components of my research strategy. As this story evolves, I imagine adding in interviews with other folks who have investigated family ghost stories, ask-me-anything discussions, and even open threads. 

I welcome reader feedback, questions, and comments on these posts so please don’t be shy. I’ve been a rabid consumer of paranormal content for most of my life, but this is my first time taking an active role in investigating something that’s personally profound for me.

The following three posts will introduce you to the person I hope to understand more deeply in this journey: Muriel.

Part 1: The Woman in the Teal Dress

Part 2: A Face in the Clouds

Part 3: The Moment of Connection